Life Changing Moment

Growing up I had a great childhood, nothing horrible really ever happened to me. Yet, during my teen years through my early 20’s, I suffered from depression. At the time I didn’t understand why I was always feeling down and unhappy. It affected me in my everyday life and I tended to not socialize with people all that much. I started to drink in my teens and that only enhanced the depression to the point where I was thinking about suicide on a regular basis. One day in my early twenties I was extremely depressed, I was at home by myself and I was crying non-stop. I wrote out a note to my family explaining how I felt and why I was going to commit suicide. I wanted to know what would happen when I died and all I could think about was at least I wouldn’t be depressed anymore. I planned on drinking some household cleaner and I poured it into a glass and brought it into my bedroom and placed it on the nightstand. I knelt down next to my bed and began to pray. I only remember one part of what I was praying for, I asked god to make the pain stop. I was about to pick up the glass when my phone rang, it was my dad. I decided to answer it and talk to him one last time. My dad was very frantic and told me that my little sister had just tried to kill herself by trying to take a bunch of pills and I needed to come over right away. I leaped up and rushed out the door. When I arrived at my parent’s house, my mom was crying and my dad was visibly upset. He asked me to talk to my sister, she might listen to me. I went into my sister’s bedroom and sat next to her on the bed. She told me why she was feeling the way she was and why she tried to kill herself. I talked to her a while and told her that she can’t let other people affect her happiness and she has to look for the positive in life and hold onto that. I told her that her decision would not only affect her but would affect her entire family and it would be a very selfish act. As I’m telling her this, I begin to realize that I needed to listen to my own advice. I felt like up to that point I had been wrapped up by a dark cloud but now the sun was breaking through and the cloud disappeared. My sister ended up getting through her rough spot and so did I. I can honestly say that from that moment I have made a conscience effort to only focus on the positive in my life and I haven’t contemplated suicide since. Since that day, I have never doubted the existence of god. I feel that I had a moment of divine intervention and I will always remember that. I think that the experience helped me be able to relate with people more and allowed me to become closer to the people in my life.