Birds...

For the most part, birds and I have had a good relationship in the past. That has all changed within the last couple months! I think I’m stuck in a sequel to the Hitchcock movie “The Birds”. It all started when my fiancé and I were in the living room watching TV and we heard a loud thud come from the spare bedroom. We jumped up and rushed to the bedroom to see if something had fallen. When we got there we discovered that the bedroom window had a small chip out of the middle of it and it had spider webbed out from there. The only thing we could think of is that a bird had flown into the window and caused it to crack. The next day, Andrea was doing the laundry and complained that the dryer wasn’t heating up. While walking past the outside of our building I noticed that the birds were flying into our dryer vent with grass and twigs. The vent had to be cleared out and a bird prevention cover was put over it. One thing that I enjoy during warm weather is grilling out on our deck and the birds have tarnished that too. They sit on our railing and crap everywhere, they sit on my grill and crap all over that, they even try to get into my grill to create a nest (luckily, they have yet to succeed). I decided I would do something to keep the birds off of my deck, so I put a plastic owl onto our deck. From what I understand the plastic owl is supposed to scare birds away from the area it is placed. Our birds are some sort of super-bird species because the owl didn’t change anything, they even sat on top of the plastic owl and crapped on it. My next great idea was to make a spike strip to set on top of our railing to prevent the birds from being able to land on it. I took some electrical tape and punched 200 brass tacks through it and then attached it to the top of the railing with the sharp points pointing up. Yet again, this did nothing to detour the birds, they just landed with their feet in between each tack. I tore down the spike strip and I have given into the fact the birds have won. The only satisfaction that I get is, knowing that come winter, they won’t be there anymore. DAMN YOU BIRDS, DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL